Photography by Tiffany Bailey

When it comes to men, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. With Valentine's looming around the corner and the premiere of 50 Shades of Grey approaching, which he more than likely won't go to see with you, I have a few tips and real life anecdotes that work for seduction, pleasure and delight. I find joy in celebrating the men in my life and therefore, let's gift them with the BEST. Please enjoy, my personal list of erotic, kinky, sexy, fun, bold, and unique Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him. There are a few things to note.

  • My list is comprised of real life experiences and gifts I've shared with lovers.
  • This list is for women who are secure in themselves, have no qualms about sexuality and are interested in finding intentional ways of pleasing and delighting him.
  • ""Him"" could be your husband, your significant other, your boyfriend, your lover, the new guy you've been dating for a few months, your fuck buddy/friend with benefit or whomever. ""HIM"" can be whomever you want to gift with an experience, present or the presence of you.
  • The cost ranges for each gift and the personal experience required to execute varies too.
Let's get started.

1. Give Him A Private Sensual Dance

You don't have to be Beyonce, Shakira or Janet Jackson to gift a man with a private performance of sensual movement. Sensual movement could entail a lap dance, pole dance, floorwork and/or striptease.  (I recommend doing ALL OF THAT!) This sensual movement can be choreographed, freestyled or a blend of both. This movement can be sexual & sensual in nature or be more thematic based on your costume, music and props. You can ""perform"" in the privacy of your home or rent a studio space. I have personally done all versions of this for a lover. The first time I danced for him was via Sheila Kelley's S Factor.  They offer seasonal ""Private Dancer"" experiences where you can reserve private studio time to dance for your lover or special friend. You experience a guided warm up with a teacher and then you have 15 minutes to dance for him. It was a great experience and he loved it. My dance involved pole work, floor work, a chair dance, a lap dance and lots of freestyle movement. Months later, in the privacy of my home and with no chaperone, I danced in my own bedroom for him. (You have to make sure your home is conducive for sexy though.) My bedroom only has a bed, a pole and a red light. I created a playlist and without telling him, after he finished showering and walked into my bedroom, I started dancing immediately. He loved it. A year later, while doing an evaluation of our relationship, I asked him what more did he want from me. One of the things he requested: more private dancing from me. Twerking and grinding are go to movements that we feel men may like, however, taking a few classes at S Factor or a special lap dance class at Body & Pole or your local studio will help you develop your movement vocabulary for a better experience. Therefore I do recommend taking a class or two before doing this. Also if you have personal issues about dancing and men, I understand. However if its something you want to share with him, trust me...he'll love it. And if you are not sure how you feel about men watching women because maybe that's objectifying them, just go read, "We Never Let the Men In."

 2.  Share Your Professional Boudoir Shoot

Photography by Tiffany Bailey

Everyone tells us that men are visual creatures. If you want to cater to that particular fancy of his, one way of lighting the fire is through a boudoir shoot. By boudoir, I mean intimate and personal. The shoot can be sensual or sexual. The shoot can involve lingerie, costumes, clothing,  the suggestion of nudity or you can be completely nude. The boudoir shoot could also be a photo shoot or video shoot. If it's a video shoot, it can be shot and edited to his favorite song. The photos or video can be thematic. If I did a sporty boudoir shoot, this would be my inspiration. If I did a more stylized boudoir shoot, this would be my inspiration.  if I did a more ethereal and sensual boudoir shoot, this would be my inspiration. If its a video shoot, imagine it being similar to a 30 second or 1 minute lingerie commercial starring YOU.  For instance, imagine him watching a video like this, starring YOU. If you need a boudoir photographer or videographer, along with hiring me, I could list about 25 of my favorite photographers around the world to make this possible. (Here's a blog post with 4 that I love.)  Let me know in the comments below if you'd like a list of recommended photographers and videographers.

3. Rent A Hotel  Room or Suite

Photography by Tiffany Bailey

Whether your love life is amazing or lacking, sometimes you just need to do things differently. Therefore a few nights a year, I rent a hotel room and I tell him when and where to show up. Sometimes we have pre-drinks at the bar. Sometimes we have dinner in the room. Sometimes, we never leave the bed. Sometimes the hotel room is a part 2 to our date night. For instance, I did the private sensual dance for him, then we had dinner, then I surprised him with an upgraded room at The Royalton Hotel in NYC.  Whatever it may be, I highly recommend a sexy night at a boutique, luxury hotel. Whether you're using Hotel Tonight, Orbitz, a Travel Consultant or booking directly with the hotel, make it happen!

4. Give Him A Collection of Love or Gratitude Letters

If its too soon for you to call them "love letters," call them "gratitude letters." If that's too cheesy, then I don't know what to tell you. The point is to share with him another form of communication thats open, true and vulnerabe. One of the things men probably ponder about, is just what's going on in our heads. So, let him know. For one lover, I wrote a love letter a day for 30 days leading up to Valentine's Day. Then on Valentine's Day, I gave him all of the handwritten letters. For another lover, I wrote letters and poems over a one year period and had them professional bound into a book as a gift. For another lover, after every date, I wrote him an email telling him my favorite moments from the date, what I most looked forward to and any thoughts about him, desires and more that went through my mind. Its too late to do 30 days of Letters for Valentines, so perhaps do 3 days of handwritten letters. Write it out on nice, gorgeous paper and give it to him at a special moment. Perhaps in the hotel room that you rented or after you give him a private dance?

5. Prepare A Home Cooked Meal in Fish Nets

Photography by Tiffany Bailey

One thing every man has enjoyed, if I chose to share it with him, was a home cooked meal by me. If you're one of those that does not cook, this doesn't apply to you. Or if you want to learn, take a few classes and learn a signature dish or learn his favorite dish. Whether its my Jamaican Curry Chicken or a sexy recipe from my favorite cookbook, InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook, I love cooking for the men in my life. Not only that, I enhance the experience by

  • cooking in my lingerie
  • cooking in my heels
  • always having something extra like wine or dessert
  • always having a sensual playlist going to put me in the mood, keep me in the mood and set the tone for dinner

6. Have A Game of Playful Suggestion

While I'm not really into strip poker, I do like a fun game or sensual prompt when it comes to time with my lovers. So whether you're purchasing or making sex coupons or buying dice to use during foreplay, I highly recommend trying something new. For one lover, I bought dice and that led to a fun night. While on  a date with one guy, I wanted more intimacy and more sexy, so I made up a game off the top of my head called, "Truth or Vice." I won't get into the details of it but it led to a very good and fun night while in the middle of an after party in some New York City loft. I forgot everyone was there until I noticed most people were watching us, our chemistry and our conversation. Whatever game you play, whether store bought or made up, just try it. Determine what experience you want to have and come up with creative ideas, prompts, questions or actions that bring that to the forefront. Also think about him. What does he like to experience? If he likes seeing you naked or he likes touching your body, create a game that plays towards and against that desire!

7.  Bodybinds. Fishnets. Heels. That's It!

Photography by Allen Henson

This one requires no explanation. He simply comes home to find you in Bodybinds, fishnets and heels. This can be with or sans a bra or a pair of panties. This can be mixed in with other gift ideas. Perhaps your photoshoot features Bodybinds lingerie? Perhaps you are preparing that home cooked meal in Bodybinds lingerie? Perhaps your sensual dance costume involves Bodybinds lingerie? Seeing as to how I own abut 5 sets of Bodybinds, I've done it all.  But you don't have to combine anything. It could be a Tuesday night and you're sitting on the sofa drinking a bottle of red wine while wearing Bodybinds, fishnets and heels and nevermind any plans for the rest of the night. He comes home and its a wrap!

8. Pleasure His Beard With Some Dapper Grooming Supplies

Years ago, I bought a lover an old school shaving kit that he LOVED. There really is an art to a man looking amazing. Whether your guy is bald, has a beard, rocks locs or simple has skin you love to touch, you can find a whole host of products that are great for him. One of my current favorite natural hair brands, actually has a line for men. Check out Nude by Center Stage Cuts.  My suggestion. You put it on his beard for him and then tug it a little. chris classic video review from Nude Beard Balm on Vimeo.

9. Go To A Speakeasy Lounge

Photography by Sheena LaShay

There is something mysterious, taboo and still sophisticated about speakeasy styled bars or authentic and historic speakeasies. Therefore, find one with a great ambiance and comfy lounge chairs. Such as Apothke, Bathtub Gin or Weather Up. (Not linking to the sites because they are suppose to be speakeasies, you know!) A lot of speakeasies host mixology workshops and other swanky events. Have a fun night out with him. I made out at Apotheke with a lover. Add that to your "Places to Kiss" list too.

10 . Hit The Sweet Spot

Prior to titallitating his pressure points and your special spot at home, one gift idea would be a night out at The Sweet Spot. Its probably one of the sexiest date nights you'll have. The poets and singers and artist range from high class to rachet and I welcome them all. You might see a silk performer or a twerker.  All I know is, no matter your or his taste, at some point you will be turned on. The Sweet Spot is good pre-play to the foreplay before the sex. So take him there.

11. Run Away On A Wanderlust Getaway

Last year, I initiated the conversation regarding a vacation with my lover. I did not want to spend the last week of January in New York and suggested we take a trip instead. We soon settled on St Martin's. I covered the flights. He covered our stay at Mes Amis and the rest is history. Whether you pay for the whole trip or part of the trip, set up a vacation getaway with the man in your life. Go somewhere warm and sexy. Or go to a cozy B&B or perhaps do something daring and adventurous. What matters most is to grab your passport and just get away! Make the trip all about you two and the things you enjoy doing. Our trip included lots of relaxing, lots of photography, great food and sex!

12.  Have A Movie Night In

You don't have to cross the ocean or find a beach in order to have a great time with the man in your life. I find that most men I date have a favorite tv show or movie. So if its a tv show, purchase the series for them and do a marathon night. You can wear your Bodybinds during that marathon night. You can also cook prior to show time. (See, all these gifts can blend together?)  Whether its American Horror Story,  Walking Dead, House of Cards or Scandal, get real cozy and spend a night watching his favorites. (Yes, some men do like Scandal.) Also, be open to the fact that maybe he just wants the gift of the series DVD set but doesn't want to necessarily watch it with you. That's fine too. The main point is to gift him with a collection of his favorite films or tv shows. I just don't think that ever goes out of style. Also if its a fun or sexy show, perhaps some role play can be explored later. Hmmm.....

13. Make A Power Play Move

Speaking of role play, this can be combined with  "A Game of Playful Suggestion." However, as the countdown of the premiere of 50 Shades of Grey continues, I think Power Play needs its own category as a gift for him. I mean this is in two ways. Either way can apply to sexual or non sexual activities. Intentionally shift the power dynamics between you and your lover. If he's normally the dominant one during sex, take control one night. Initiate the sex. Lead the change of positions. Ride him until kingdom come. Lose every inhibition. Let your freak flag fly. Tie him up. Tell him exactly what you want him to do. Etc. You get the point. Or perhaps it means submitting to him. If you're known for being pushy, always having the last word, always picking the restaurant or date night...whatever it may be, LET HIM. Give him the gift of you calming down for once. Chill and let him.  As mentioned, this could relate directly to sexual encounters or not. But the point is to be intentional about the power dynamics, the chemistry and the energy between you and him. Whatever it is he wants, let him have it. (So long as it doesn't cross any boundaries. Also remember, SAFE WORDS!)

Have you ever given any of these gifts to a lover? Did he enjoy them or not? Men, have you ever received any of these gifts? Did you like them? What else would you prefer?

Sheena LaShay is a Wild Magical Woman, Boudoir Photographer, Writer, and most importantly a Pole Dancer. She writes for, Owning Pink, Verizon Wireless and is the Co-President & Editor-in-Chief of the #PDBloggers.
SPECIAL NOTE: For the months of January and February the editorial focus of the Bodybinds Blog will be ALL ABOUT KINK. While we may cover a few other topics here or there, you will notice a lot of features on the topic of KINK.  If you are interested in guest writing, being interviewed or featured, please email the editor at Unless otherwise noted, all photos are Creative Commons Photos by Tiffany Bailey
February 27, 2020 — David Morreale