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  I’d like to say almost every woman in the world wants to be deemed as and be beautiful. We want to feel beautiful and we want others, whether it’s a close knit circle or the world, to agree that we are beautiful.  Many times we place more importance on others agreeing in hopes that it will inspire us to feel so too. Beauty is an energy given off, a frequency that one emits and others pick up and respond to accordingly. This means it may work the other way around. We tell people how to view us and feel about us. I’m a quintessential woman and while I love all the frilly and sexy lingerie sets, body flattering clothing and getting my hair and makeup done, it’s important that this outward love of self is fortified with inner self love. With inner self love, even a boxy, potato sack you’re wearing looks appealing. Beauty energy is everything and below are 3 ways to get in the habit of feeling beautiful in your own right.

 Identify (at least) Three Things that You Love About Yourself

My challenge for you today is to identify three things you love about yourself. This is not always easy for many of us because as young girls we saw women tear themselves to shreds and then go on and tear other women to shreds. You’re not a real woman if you don’t balk about your weight and hate your jiggly thighs. It's almost as if we are programmed to have an affinity to this. Retailers promise that if we spend thousands of dollars at the mall, on creams, potions and the likes, we won’t feel that way anymore. Really, they are just saying we won’t look like we hate ourselves. We are also programmed to think that beauty involves humbling ourselves by dimming our light on our desires, ambitions and achievements. That’s not being humble. That’s thinking less of your self. Beauty is about an all inclusive self awareness that allows us to seek out, identify and appreciate the beauty in everything without it being at the expense our own selves. For this exercise, you will write down at least three things about yourself that embody what beautiful looks and feels like to you. They can be physical or personality attributes. I don’t want to hear that you don’t have anything you love about yourself because we all do. Take deep thought regarding this and don’t get upset if you don’t identify three things right away. De-programming and re-programming the mind is a journey and takes time, so do not beat yourself up if they don’t come to you at a moment’s notice.

Indulge in Activities That Accentuate these Things

Once you have identified three things you love about yourself, your next assignment is to indulge in things that honor them. If you love that you enjoy helping people, this activity could involve volunteer work once or twice a month at a school, hospital or with a cause that you’re passionate about. If you love your need for adventure why not try a pole dancing class or salsa dancing lessons? We are happiest when we do things that we love and enjoy. That’s the epitome of pure beauty. This also benefits our partners or whomever we are trying to attract love to. They see and feel us and our passion. It’s huge turn on to see someone’s eyes light up about something positive. Aside from how it makes others feel/react, it does something magical to us when are engaged in activities that generate positivity, make us feel alive and entice us to live in the present moment at hand.

Create a Vision Board

There are many ways to create a vision board. You can make them the old fashion way with poster board and clippings from magazines glued to the boards, cut out pictures pinned to a cork board or you can make them digitally through Pinterest or a collage using software like Photoshop or Illustrator. Whatever resonates with you best, use it. Try to look at it daily for inspiration. Put your board somewhere where you would have access to it daily for instant inspiration. If you chose to use a cork board with clippings, you could put it on a wall by your desk if you sit at a desk daily or on a bedroom wall. If you use a Pinterest board, you can look at on your phone or tablet daily. Try to include pictures of more than just pretty people; also include pictures that symbolize what feelings, sensations and situations your definitions of beauty evokes. Everyone’s interpretation will be different. I used to think that I wasn’t beautiful because I wasn’t extroverted and super social with new people right away. That’s how the media always portrayed beautiful women so I thought something was wrong with me. After a while I recognized that there was beauty and strength in my tendencies towards introversion and that the people and love interests that wanted to be bothered with me wouldn’t mind that about me. I have a Pinterest board titled “Quiet Confidence, Regal Beauty”, where I pin pictures of women who aren’t/weren’t loud individuals but that didn’t take away from their passion for life, sexiness, beauty or strength. Whenever I start to doubt my self worth because I’m not loud, I can look at the board and it helps to me remember to celebrate myself and how my quietness makes me interesting and powerful in my own beautiful way. If you don’t want to do a vision board, you could also put up artwork in your home that signifies your definition of beauty. You can also have multiple vision boards dedicated to different themes of beauty. Get wrapped up in it and make it relevant for you. Use glitter, fur balls and feathers for decoration if you like, Get engulfed in making this your own. Though we all love and welcome validation and celebration from others, true beauty and sexiness comes from you. Once you have it in yourself to feel beautiful, people can’t help but to recognize it and agree.

What do you do to feel beautiful?

Milan is a bohemian, new age, Scorpion lady with sophistication and funk. She has a passion for life and adventure and is a glutton for books and all things creative. You can find her at any of your local cultural events, in the park practicing yoga, in the kitchen jamming to A Tribe Called Quest songs while cooking dinner or her blog www.AGrlCanMAC.com talking about life and beauty.

February 27, 2020 — Jacqueline Lee