In my mind, I am Xena, warrior princess. I am powerful, fearless, and sexy as hell ... BUT every so often a crack appears in that perfected tailored armor and I am overcome with self-doubt. In those moments confidence feels like a distant memory and finding my awesomeness is near impossible. Our culture demands perfection from women and it is nearly impossible to not be left with feelings of inadequacy once in awhile. However, like any warrior princess I've got weapons to slash that negativity and conquer those fears. First on your journey back to awesomeness is acknowledging that something went wrong. Whatever it was, big or small - a stumbling block in your career path or a crappy self image day - recognize that even if you usually feel fearless, you are still human and vulnerability is part of the deal. Pretending that perfection exists doesn't help anyone. Now my trick to rediscovering awesomeness is remembering it existed all along - TWIST! Ask yourself these questions. Answer quickly and honestly. Write them down for future reflection.

What is one skill are you really good at?

Is it calligraphy? Solving complicated math equations? Being an amazing friend? Writing deeply involved Harry Potter fan fiction? What do you do better than anyone else? You've got skills and its important to recognize that you are accomplished. Start by remembering what makes you uniquely YOU!

What would your friends or family say is your best quality?

In high school I once had the smartest kid in the class stare in awe at the doodles I'd draw on my book covers. To me they were just silly little flowers, but to him I was creating works of art that he didn't know the first thing about accomplishing. Sometimes you are just too close to your subject and you need to get the perspective of someone with some distance. How many times have you had a friend complain about not being good enough only to stop mid sentence and tell them how crazy awesome they are? Well, do your friends work for them and tell yourself exactly what they would say to you.

My 3 favorite physical attributes are ...

Think fast with this one! The reason for put three attributes instead of just one is because I don't want you wimping out with a "friendly smile" and moving on from there. I want you to write down your luscious hips, your bountiful breasts, your fierce cheekbones, and juicy booty . Your body is one-of-a-kind, celebrate all it's curves, textures, and beauty. Don't be shy and don't be modest!

What inspires you about your hero?

No one ever ascended to greatness without being knocked down several times on their journey. Take inspiration from the struggles of your personal hero and find strength in their ability to overcome to achieve their goals. If they did it, so can you! Take it a step further and think about what tools can you take from their experience?  Now realize you are on the way the to becoming your own hero and you are just at one of the hurdles in your journey.

Who relies on you and why?

Again, don't waste time with modesty when answering this question. For this person/group/pet you are "awesomeness" personified. You bring something to the table that someone else finds incredibly valuable. Maybe its your boss, your neighbor, or a friend, but they chose you to rely on over someone else. Remember for all your self doubt there is someone out there knows your value, don't forget that!

What would your younger self be impressed with?

Look back at who you were 10, 15, 20 years ago. What would your younger self find awesome about you and your life? Your stellar shoe collection, that you oversee 20 employees,  you traveled through Europe, or you finally got breasts. Maybe you aren't were you though you would be, but I bet you have done things your younger self couldn't even imagine. Look at yourself through the wonder of child's eyes and remember how far you have come!


Why is it so important to rediscover your awesomeness when your ego takes a hit? Because you should not only love yourself, but be in love with yourself. No life is fully lived if you spend it feeling like a failure. You may have taken a hit in life, but my wish is that you can look back on your answers and realize that you were awesome all along.

Need some instant gratification? Try out my favorite tips to feel awesome all over!

 Get Sexy Mediation Tips from Sheena LaShay!

Share your awesomeness with us! Post answers to any or all of the questions below.

 Jillian is an avid pole dance student, accessories and costume designer, rhinestone aficionado, and a PDBloggers Executive Committee Member. She also writes at

February 27, 2020 — Jacqueline Lee