EMBARKING ON SEXUAL FREEDOM
I receive a lot of private messages from women in search of sexual liberation and freedom. They want to know just what I mean by “spiritual eroticism.”
And they want to find a way to live in “sensual bliss.”
“Share your tips,” they ask.
“What books should I read?” they ask.
“Exactly what did you do to get to where you are now?” they wonder.
My process of sexual freedom, erotic liberation and sensual bliss has many parts but today, let’s talk about MEDITATION. Why? Because meditation helped me find my “sexy spot.” One quick definition of meditation is such: to ponder, muse, ruminate; to cogitate, study, think; to contemplate, plan, devise, and contrive. Let’s simply go with the basics!
BLISSING OUT or BLOW JOBS
With all the blog posts, videos, books and resources out there today, it wasn’t until I could actually feel, see and note the differences in my life post-meditation that I found the true value in why meditation matters. I used to struggle to make sense of it all. I could not “concentrate” or “quiet my mind” when I would do individual or group meditations. In group settings, I often felt like I was pretending. I would peek and check out the room when my eyes should have been closed. Everyone seemed to be zoning out and reaching some enlightened state and honestly…a lot of the times, I was thinking about pole dancing, my latest date, the bok choy I’d cook later on and the conversation I needed to have with my best friend.
Once when I should have been meditating, I was thinking about eating a popsicle and giving a blow job. THIS IS NOT WHAT BUDDHA had in mind.
When you’re thinking about a sex act when you should be meditating, its time to do one of two things. Either try a different approach to meditating or cater your meditations towards your interest.
SEXY MEDITATION TIPS FOR A MODERN DAY SIREN
Today, I’m going to share some tips towards a sexy meditation. I believes its important to set the mindful sexy mood for your life. If you want spiritual eroticism, if you want sexy bliss, if you want yummy, delicious energy…its probably going to start in your mind. So let’s turn on your mind to turn on your life and your g spot!
- Create the space
In order to set the mood for a sexy meditation, you have to physically set the mood of your environment. Whether its using feng shui techniques, a bagua chart or what you know to be true for your self, create your own siren space for meditation. Is there a place in your home that you can set aside? Is there a soothing and sensual space in your bedroom? Be intentional about the colors and fabrics in this space.
- Create an altar
I think of an altar as an intentional space where you direct your energy and focus in a more acute sense separate than simply the room you meditate in. (That’s my definition. Yours may differ.) Therefore, my window sill functions as my altar. I keep a candle that reminds me of “MAN” on my window. My sex journal is there. I keep a little box of love notes there. I keep any relics and any thing that holds significance for me there. Whether its dried roses, a rock from a sexy vacation and a note with my favorite affirmation. (I’ve now printed Jillian’s affirmation too and placed it there.) So collect your own trinkets and items of significance and add them to your alter.
Once its time to begin your meditation, consider doing the following.
- Set the mood with scents
Light candles, incense or burn essential oils.
- Set the mood by removing distractions
Turn your television off. Silence and/or turn your cell phone off. Whatever distracts you….remove it when you are ready to meditate. If the blinking light of your internet router distracts you in your meditation room, unplug it. If the hum of the air conditioner distracts you, turn it off. Remove whatever doesn’t serve you while you meditate!
- Set the mood with music
This is optional. There are numerous free resources and apps that will play ambient music during meditation. I find that the music helps to ushering in the mood. I know plenty of people who use a playlist of music when they have sexy time with their lover. (I have numerous playlist for sex.) So why not have a playlist for your sexy meditations. If chirping birds and waterfalls are not a turn on for you…considering finding the instrumental versions of your favorite sexy songs?
- Set the mood with the elements
There is something about the four elements (water, fire, air, earth) that make me feel raw, primal and gritty yummy. I know there are spiritual interpretations of the elements, practical interpretations of the elements and an entire philosophy around it. Be that as it may, I feel spiritually fancy and naturally connection to the earth when I incorporate the elements into my life. I imagine that the goddess of centuries ago, did their primal fertility dance prayers and more by incorporating the elements. Folklore or Fact…either way, I like it.
- Set the mood with your body
GET COMFORTABLE. You can sit cross legged with meditation pillows. You can lay in child’s pose on your yoga mat. You can really do anything…but ideally, do what makes you feel good and sensual.
- Set the mood with your breath
The very first thing I recommend is BREATHING.
- Set the mood with your intention and purpose
So you’ve created the space, you lit your candle, your cell phone is off. Now what!?! I recommend setting your intention. Whether you do this mentally or verbally, state your purpose.
- Set the mood with you KEGELS
Yup, I just wrote that. At some point during your meditation when you have your sexy music playing and you have rosewood & ylang ylang burning, squeeze and release your kegels.
- Set the mood with affirmations
Say what feels good and pushes you towards pleasure.
- Set the mood with your thoughts
For some people they meditate by saying affirmations. Others like to quiet their minds and envision white light…or maybe envision a RED LIGHT! You can also set the mood with your thoughts. Let visions flash in your mind of when you feel the most sexy. Think about your last orgasm. Think about a future fantasy you want to act out.
- Set the mood with your journal & visuals
Whether you have a sex journal, like I do or a sexual vision board or a sexy pinterest board, use visuals to aid in setting the mood. What images incorporate sexy energy for you? What thoughts do you have that you want to write down? Maybe after thinking about your next sexual fantasy, you may want to write the details in your journal? I have two pinterest boards. “Wild Magical Woman.” and “Yummy Sexy.” After spending ONE minute on either board, I feel it between my legs and in my heart! Or maybe create an art collage journal of all things sexy for you!
TYPES OF SEXY MEDITATIONS
I’ve moreso given you a breakdown of how to set the mood for a solo sexy meditation. However, keep in mind there are many ways to experience a sexy meditation.
- Standard Solo Sexy Meditation – As explained above.
- Moving Meditation – After setting the mood, instead of sitting down in a cross legged position, why not freestyle move? Do some hip circles. Roll your head in a circle. Slither across the floor. Do what what feels sexy and good!
- Breathing Partner Meditation – Have you considered sharing your sexy meditation with your partner? This may also be the “pre foreplay” to a wonderful night, if you know what I mean. Try sitting back to back with your partner. When s/he exhales, you inhale. When you inhale, have s/he exhale. Be present in each other’s breath. With your back against their’s, feel the weight, feel the subtle movement. Tune in to each other. You can also face each other and look each other in the eye. Or you can close your eyes and hold hands. You both can verbally speak affirmations, if you want.
- Naked Meditation – Each meditation mentioned above can be done naked. If that frightens you in a “I’m absolutely terrified and may have a hysterical panic attack” way, don’t do it. If it frightens you in a, “this could be an interesting self-adventure and I’m committed to trying new things for sexual freedom” type of way, DO IT!
- Active Meditation – By this, I mean living a mindful life. You can meditate while in the shower or while taking a bath. Why not? You’re naked. The water is hitting you at the right temperature. You’re purifying your body. Why not light a candle. Turn your sexy music on. And set an intention. Also…find a shower gel that turns you on and feels luxurious! The same can be said for when you feast. Why not create an aphrodisiac filled meal and instead of just downing dinner, really be presence in the sensual experience!
- Natural Meditation - Do everything I said but do it outside….in your garden, in your favorite park, or where ever is safe and sacred for you!
OPTIMAL TIMES FOR SEXY MEDITATION
- ANYTIME – You can experience a sexy meditation any time.
- NEW & FULL MOONS – If you want to go for a more ritualistic approach, why not have your sexy meditations on the new and full moons…an optimum time for feminine and nature energy anyway!
- RIGHT BEFORE YOU SEE THEM – It might be a great idea to incorporate a sexy meditation into your lover prep! You know…when you have a fancy date scheduled or you know s/he is coming over and its going to be an extra special sexy night, so you shave, you exfoliate your skin, you pick your fancy panties….why not set aside five minutes or thirty minutes for some mindful breathing and sexy meditation?
BENEFITS OF A SEXY MEDITATION
- Reduces Stress – The more I give myself the space and time to dwell in breathe and my intention for the day, the less evil I am to others. Point. Blank. Simple.
- Improves Concentration – I find meditation to be an exercise of the mind. As time has gone on, it is easier and easier for me to get into the mindset of mediation and to dwell there. This also directly correlates to the rest of my life.
- Promotes Happiness – I always feel good after I meditate.
- Sets the Mood – Whether I’m setting the mood for sexy or for joy or for personal contentment, I find that once I’ve meditated, the energy of my day has shifted.
- Honors Your Sexual Nature - Its important that I acknowledge my sexuality in all its forms. Developing a ritual such as sexy meditations is a way to honor this sacred part of me! Enjoying physical sex is one way to incorporate sexuality into your life. But it is not the only way. Dedicating my meditative practices to my sexual nature gives me another outlet for channeling my sexual energy.
WATCH this video, “Total Permission” by Wahkeena Sitka
ENJOY this entire website, “Sex Love and Liberation” by Ev_yan
READ this Elephant Journal article , “Forgiveness is the Path to Orgasm” by Rashida KhanBey
A Note About “Sexy”
Some people have a strong response, negative or positive to the word sexy. Let me just emphasize, that sexy is however you define it! When I reference sexy in this post, I am referencing the feeling that accompanies what it means to be sexual. You know the feeling right before you have sex or during an orgasm or right after sex…that feeling is “sexy.” You know that feeling when you’re wearing your favorite dress or pants or lipstick shade and you’re absolutely in love with yourself and you love everything about yourself and you know and understand your beauty…that sensual energy of pleasure…well, that is “sexy.” If rosewood makes you want to barf and lemon essential oil turns you on, choose that. If wearing sweatshirts and listening to water falls induce erotic bliss for you, do that!
Do you incorporate sexuality and eroticism into your meditative practices?
Sheena LaShay is a Wild Magical Woman, Boudoir Photographer, Videographer, and most importantly a Pole Dancer. She writes for SheenaLaShay.com, Owning Pink, Verizon Wireless and is the Co-President & Editor-in-Chief of the #PDBloggers. Sheena is also the Editor of the Bodybinds blog!