“I don’t need tricks.”
In a private group discussion regarding the benefits and pleasures of coconut oil during masturbation, one woman repeatedly exclaimed that 1), she did not masturbate, 2), men were more than enough for her and 3), she did not need any “tricks.”
While I have my own reasons for why masturbation works and doesn’t work for me, there was a certain resistance and perceived ignorance in her comment. (You can read more on my masturbation post here –> “I Want to Watch You Touch Yourself“.)
I never viewed any enhanced experience during sexual encounters as a trick for some sort of lack in my life or as a substitute for primal, mind blowing sex with a partner. Whether its masturbation, sensual massages or a good flogging with a riding crop during foreplay, in my experience, these sensual enhancements have formed a deeper bond with my partner, encouraged me to be more present in my body and added a special flavor of fun, spirit and sometimes mayhem.
Have you ever added salt, hot sauce or curry to your chicken? You don’t do it because the chicken isn’t enough. You’ve done it because you like to taste different flavors, to enhance the meat itself or because you just like some SPICE! That is part of what my kinky, fetish, BDSM lifestyle is for me. Its a spiritual, sensual and sometimes sexual way to add spice to my experience of pleasure and desire.
Therefore today, I want to share with you 5 resources for exploring BDSM, Fetish, and Kink in New York City. It might be taboo, subversive, mysterious or scary but at the least its an opportunity to learn and at the most, its an opportunity to sexually and sensually evolve.
1. Domi Dollz
I first learned of Domi Dollz through a pole dancing friend of mine. The pole dancing friend is a bit out there in a way….in a very good way. She goes to Burning Man. She invites me to artistic brunches where aerial artists and pole dancers are the featured guests. She believes in unicorns and magic and I love her dearly. Knowing how subversive and adventurous I am, she put me in contact with a dear friend, Kimi Inch.
Kimi Inch is the owner of Domi Dollz. According to her website, “Domi Dollz brings kink out of the dungeon and into the limelight by revamping and elevating its core concepts in a daring and fun manner. The goal of Domi Dollz is to educate, entertain, and empower women through a variety of mediums including workshops, events, fashion and music. Domi Dollz vision is to create a world that is open to exploring sensuality and fantasies without judgement.”
I LOVE THIS. While I have yet to take one of their workshops, I have had the pleasure of speaking with Kimi over several meals and she is hypnotic and the bees knees in an approachable yet powerful way.
“Anyone can spank someone or tie up someone. If you can get into someone’s head, they’ll want to see you all over and over and over again.” Kimi Inch says in Business Insider
Website | Facebook | Twitter | Youtube
2. TES – The Eulenspiegel Society
I talked a bit about my entrance into the “kinky” world through a man I referenced as The Fetish Lover in a previous Bodybinds post titled, “On Wanting More and the 4 Ways I Found It.” In addition to being profound, kinky and the only man to truly dominate me…leading me to doing shit that would make Christian Grey blush, he was also very intelligent, curious and open to exposing me to BDSM in a variety of ways.
I think it was somewhere between our second and third date when he mentioned TES to me. According to their website, they are “a not-for-profit BDSM / Leather / Fetish group dedicated to the social interaction, educational exchange, and ever-changing diversity of our community.”
While I can’t speak for their entire organization, what I can say is that I went to a handful of workshops they hosted. Each were educational, fun, and engaging. I even had the honor of attending a special Baroness presentation called, “The Joy of Latex.” (The Baroness is like THE place to go for amazing latex wear.) I couldn’t resist attending with a workshop description like this: From fetish to fashion, through sensuality, bondage, pain, and play. Practical questions will be answered including; the proper way to slide into tight latex, aAlong with care, maintenance, and latex repair. I will also bring an assortment of bizarre latex accoutrements as well as more fashion pieces requiring both victims and models.
TES has special interest groups such as The Bondage Group or The Spanking Group. <– I did attend a spanking workshop. That was fun! Some of their upcoming classes includes topics like, Unleashing the Savage Beast: The Dark Side of Animal Role-Play and Erotic Writers Workshop. The workshops are discreet, unassuming and worth the small fee.
Website | Twitter
3. Shag Brooklyn
I have never been to Shag Brooklyn. However, I have pinned so many date night ideas from YouAndMeConcierge that involve them. Their name also comes up a lot in connection with Domi Dollz too. According to their website, they are “a SEXY boutique & event space encouraging artistic & sexual exploration + host workshops & discussions overall helping people feel more open & accepted. They aim to address issues relating to humanity, identity, gender, and sexuality that have been considered taboo in culture for far too long. Facilitating open dialogue with the general public, mediated through the work of talented artists, SHAG aspires to unite sex and art (two things that have lived under the same roof for centuries) and create an environment that is inviting, un-intimidating, fun, and open to all.”
They have two upcoming photo exhibits and a Shibari Beginners Rope Bondage Class. Basically, I need to go! In addition to their art and education, they also have a shop with so many items that I need to add to my nightstand!
Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Blog
4. NYC TNG
I first learned about NYC TNG through Fetlife. I attended one “munch” aka meet up and found it quite interesting. I definitely need to become more involved before I surpass the age limit. I have 5 years left to play with them. According to their website, they were “established to promote and facilitate the gathering and interaction of people between the ages of 18 to 35 who are interested or think they might be interested in the BDSM or M/s lifestyle.”
Their group seeks to encourage discussion and open communication. Their main focus is all about providing opportunities for their online and in person community to gather and share ideas, concerns and build connections. Their website is a great resource for more information on other groups, websites and more! One of the benefits of their group for the 18 – 35 year old crowd is that you definitely come to know that you are not alone. There is a perception that should you go to a fetish party or sex party or a kinky event you’ll get the weirdest and gross people crawling out from under a rock looking to devout you and chain you in their grimy dungeon. That’s not accurate. But if that prevents you from exploring, a group like NYC TNG is a great way to start.
I don’t recall how I originally found out about DomSubFriends but I felt like I went through the rabbit’s hole of Kink and Fetish while exploring their website. They are a huge resource for information…even if you aren’t necessarily interested in their group. According to their website their group, “is a members only pan-sexual support group for open minded people in the NY, LI, NJ, CT, PA, MASS, RI, MD, and East Coast area, who share interests in the S&M, BDSM, D/s, and B/D scene. They provide a sanctuary and meeting place for doms/dommes and subs alike to discuss the BDSM scene in general, and topics which effect everyone in our community. They are about communication, demos, lectures, munches, parties, socializing, sharing ideas/knowledge and most of all, having fun among fellow BDSM’ers.”
I have never been to one of their lectures or demos and I think its time I add them to my sexuality goal list for the year. I’m all about learning more. At the very least it gives me more content to share. At the most, it helps me evolve as a sensual, spiritual and sexual being.
Of course my list is local to New York because the last five years of my life have been dedicated to this city. I imagine the European version of this list…or more specifically the Berlin version of this list would make mine look like child’s play. I can’t imagine the San Francisco or Portland version of this list? Oh my, what would a French version of my list entail? Hmp, based on how a British lover behaves….a London list would be absolutely ridiculous.
What city should I do next? What online and offline resources do you use when it comes to classes, workshops, events and meet ups for Fetish, Kinky or BDSM?
Sheena LaShay is a Wild Magical Woman, Boudoir Photographer, Writer ,and most importantly a Pole Dancer. She writes for SheenaLaShay.com, Owning Pink, Verizon Wireless and is the Co-President & Editor-in-Chief of the #PDBloggers.
SPECIAL NOTE: For the months of January and February the editorial focus of the Bodybinds Blog will be ALL ABOUT KINK. While we may cover a few other topics here or there, you will notice a lot of features on the topic of KINK. If you are interested in guest writing, being interviewed or featured, please email the editor at Sheena@PDBloggers.com.