All posts by Milan Staples

Sacred Geometry – The Secret Symbolism Found In Bodybinds

"Bodybinds Sacred Geometry" -

Symbolism can be found in just about everything that we interact with on a day to day basis. We may not see them. We might be too absorbed in our own worlds and problems that we often aren’t paying attention. Be that as it may, there are messages everywhere waiting for us to acknowledge them and use them to help enhance our lives. Our clothing and intimate apparel can often times contain messages too including geometric symbolism. This even includes how they are constructed because the patterns used to create any item of clothing involve lines and curves that form shapes. Shapes often carry spiritual and psychological meanings.

When looking at Bodybinds pieces, I see more than just beautifully crafted bondage lingerie. I see geometric shapes within them which can have sacred meanings. Let’s take the diamond cage monokini piece from their black collection and breakdown some of the potential symbolism that can be found in it.

Continue reading

How to Define Your Kink: Unconventional Simple Tips in a Conventional World

"how to define your kink" -

Photo Credit: Lies Through a Lens

We all have kinky energy inside of our soul, even the meekest among us. We may not acknowledge it for whatever reason, but the kink is there. Some of the common reasons we suppress or ignore our inner kink is due to religion, upbringing, fear, or caring about the opinions of others.  Even the definition of KINKY, according to  Merriam-Webster  teaches us to base our preferences off of someone else’s idea. It states, relating to, having, or appealing to unconventional tastes especially in sex; also sexually deviant. Who is the authority for what’s conventional and unconventional in sex though? Who governs what is and isn’t deviant?

We have been inundated with messages, both consciously and subconsciously from everywhere regarding conventional and unconventional thinking, that we’ve now taken the spirituality and overall wellness out of acknowledging ourselves as sexual beings. Some of us, mainly what I know of western society, have been taught to speak in hushed tones and behind closed doors. Media has literally brainwashed us to a template for conventional sex, kinky, making it “naughty” and “guilty” pleasures. It is rare to hear that sexuality, even our kinky side is a natural and healthy form of self-love, self-awareness and self-expression. Being kinky simply gets a bad reputation. It is called unnatural, immoral, sinful and dirty. And usually anything outside of missionary style sex between a heterosexual, married couple is lumped into what is considered kinky.  Because of this many women feel shame or shyness towards their kinky nature. It does not have to be that way.

Every woman has some kink in her. Today, I encourage you not to suppress it. Instead, acknowledge it, affirm it and enjoy exploring it. I understand there will be resistance towards this. However, when we amend our often negative perceptions of what kink or even sexuality exemplifies; we will be more inclined towards discovery. Let’s diminish feeling dirty about thinking and acting on our kink. To do this, I have a few suggestions for you.


"how to define your kink by milan staples" -

Photo Credit: Lies Thru A Lens

One of the most important steps in finding your inner kinky is getting your mind right. You are probably going to have to erase and reprogram some of your previous views, mindsets and beliefs.  We’ve been told and taught many things throughout our life that we accept our beliefs by default. Truly examine your beliefs in relation to your intuitive desires. If everything you want sexually, including the kink, is opposed to your “beliefs” it may be time to remove those negative thoughts. It may be time to mentally and philosophically let go of what you were told regarding sexuality and the idea of being “kinky”. Even though we are living in a hyper-sexualized society, we are still strangely socialized to deem sex and the exploration of it as risqué and a part of our unclean and sinful (not spiritual) nature that needs to be controlled. Being kinky can actually be another way to nourish yourself. It can also foster a positive exchange of energy in a healthy manner.


"how to define your kink by milan staples" -

Photo Credit: Lies Thru A Lens

Another very important component, to finding your inner kink, is to identify what it looks like to you without any judgment, limitations or outside influence. Turn your tv off. Do NOT ask for your friends’ opinions on it. Get off the internet…after you finish my article. Turn off the music for a little while. You can let outside sources inspire you but don’t let it create your definition of kinky or sexual freedom for you. Let to your own devices, this is what I want you to do. Let your imagination run buck wild. Create a kinky vision board, collage, mixed media journal or a (secret) board on Pinterest with images and quotes that you have collected. Everything should exemplify what YOU deem kinky. Include fun and empowering affirmations on it to put celebratory energy behind it. Give yourself permission to visualize however it looks like to you without any criticism.


"how to define you kink" -

Photo Credit: Lies Thru A Lens

DO NOT compare your kink to others. This includes movies, pornos, Beyonce’s latest video and that one article listing 5 ways to be kinky. KINK is a highly individualized and personal experience that you choose to keep to yourself or share with trusted partners. Everyone is different. In addition to everyone being different, it is important to acknowledge that one’s definition isn’t better or less than another person’s. It is simply different.  Different is NOT the same as “better or less than.” That’s really it.

My kink doesn’t look like handcuffs and whips, but that doesn’t make it any better or less than those whose does include that. And it also doesn’t mean that I won’t want to experiment with that at another time. Make sure you give yourself permission and grace to change and evolve sexually. Finding your inner kink is a spiritual journey through listening to and honoring what YOU want and like. It is celebrating it. It is getting in tune with YOU.  Finding your kink is a mental job first. Once you stop inhibiting yourself by placing “sin” or “immorality” on the deemed “unconventional” and once you stop placing outward expectations on what it should be, look and feel like compared to others; you can create and have pride in what it is to you. Open your mind. Only entertain what makes sense for you. There’s not just one way or formula. Find comfort and confidence in that. Embrace this diversity and individuality.


"how to define you kink" -

Photo Credit” Lies Thru A Lens

Confident women tend to ooze a certain energy that both men and women find sexy. This confidence emanates from an internal source and draws others in. The energy of knowing yourself and fully exploring yourself sexually and every other way is what turns others on the most. It turns them on sexually, intellectually, energetically, mentally, spiritually and more. This energy also helps to SUSTAIN intimate connections when the “honeymoon” phase wears off. The energy you give off amplifies what you visually bring to the table. Once the discomfort is gone and you truly embrace who you are and what you want, you can confidently express your kink in a healthy way that resonates with you. You don’t have to wave your freak flag everywhere you go, every second of the day but with a partner and/or situation you trust, you can feel confident in knowing what your kink is.

With that knowing and confidence, you can sensually and sexually experience and express what you want. This kink journey will vary, evolve and change. It is important to know that it is a journey and not a race. You never reach a finish line because your thoughts and beliefs are always shape-shifting, changing and evolving. There are no time constraints or deadlines. Some things will come easy for you and others will take awhile. Embrace your journey and stay in your lane. Don’t rush it, simply live. It helps to be around people who are on similar journeys too and/or share similar outlooks. Not to compare notes, but to know that you are not alone!



"how to define your kink" -

Photo Credit: Lies Thru A Lens

I’ve said it before, kink looks differently for each person. Maybe kinky, to you, looks like greeting your lover in a candle lit room wearing red lipstick and a Bodybinds piece with nothing on underneath it. Maybe it looks like that one time you had sex, standing up, in your living room instead of your bed, traditional style. Maybe being kinky to you is talking about sex in the daytime and not behind closed doors. I’m a Partition” kinda girl.

The prominent theme in my deviating from conventional sex is undulating in the duality of what is socially deemed as good/comfortable versus what is socially deemed as bad/uncomfortable; conservative versus liberal. It’s wearing something totally “lady like” with nothing on underneath or slipping away for a quickie in a secluded area of a posh and upscale venue at formal ball, polishing myself back up afterwards and returning to the event. I like the perceived “good” and “bad” being layered into one situation; experiencing balance. My kink involves exploring both sides that create balance. 

Are you ready to discover you inner kink and encourage it to come out and play? I’d love to read what it looks like to you. Feeling sexy is so much more than looking the part; it’s an inside job first and then you can have fun with the outside.

What’s your kink?

"How to define your kink" -

Milan is a bohemian, new age, Scorpion lady with sophistication and funk. She has a passion for life and adventure and is a glutton for books and all things creative. You can find her at any of your local cultural events, in the park practicing yoga, in the kitchen jamming to A Tribe Called Quest songs while cooking dinner or her blog talking about life and beauty.

SPECIAL NOTE: For the months of January and February the editorial focus of the Bodybinds Blog will be ALL ABOUT KINK.While we may cover a few other topics here or there, you will notice a lot of features on the topic of KINK.  If you are interested in guest writing, being interviewed or featured, please email the editor at

Creative Commons License:  Lies Thru a Lens

Zebras. Pigeons. Football. 3 Tips on Finding Inspiration

Editors Note: Today is Milan’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MILAN!!!! We’re so grateful for you, your life and everything you are.

"3 Tips on Where to Find Inspiration" -

I love creativity because there is no right or wrong way engage in it. Creativity manifests itself in so many beautiful ways through all kinds of things. River dancing is creative just as a boudoir photo shoot is creative. Pole dancing is creative just as an Amish woman hand sewing a quilt is. Successfully executing a $20/week grocery budget is creative just as hosting a party with a $2500 budget is.

Creativity doesn’t discriminate; it and the inspiration that ignites it can be found anywhere, in everything and in every part of our day to day lives. In a world abundant in stimulation, sometimes we’re still stumped on how to stay inspired or find more to keep us going.

Here are a few tips to help keep it flowing.

1. Look for Inspiration

A common misconception is that inspiration hits you over the head and stays with you forever if you’re a “true artist”.  Let’s be honest. That’s only the reality of some creative and artist types. I feel that they are an exception to the norm. Most of us fall into peaks and valleys when it comes to the inspiration to create and form new ideas. I’ve learned over my creative life that we have to help it along. Constant inspiration for your creativity is a daily and deliberate exercise. Sometimes you have to go out and get it! Not all your songs have to loosely reflect your own personal life’s experiences. Look for other stories, be they frivolous or serious, that you can tell. Travel to a different state or town in your country or visit a different country to gain a different perspective and experience different tastes, sights and sounds.

Go to a park, party/event or museum and people watch. In an indoor or more people focused setting you can create a story about an individual, couple or family that you see or let them represent a theme that inspires something. Talk to new people or people you wouldn’t normally gravitate to.  Older people inspire me a lot and many times share great nuggets of wisdom. Learning more about others and their stories can result in creation.

If you’re in an outdoor setting, like a garden, park or beach, you can animal watch as well. On my safari adventure in South Africa over the summer, I was really inspired by the beautiful zebras I saw in abundance. Their awesome black and white patterned, “daily outfit” reminded that sometimes with personal style that less is more. This reminder inspired me to purge a lot of my wardrobe once I came back. I vowed to have a wardrobe of only items I needed and loved. This resulted in me having less items but more styling options to express myself. Who knew a zebra could inspire all that!

2. Get Outside of Your Comfort Zone

If you’re a ballet dancer or teacher, take a hip hop dance class or a salsa dance class. Learning a different form of dance you’re not familiar with can add new elements to your tool kit. I’m a creative writer and though I love a good fiction novel more than anything, I expose myself to ALL kinds of books and literature for inspiration and new ways to write and express myself. I read hair blogs, cooking blogs, fitness magazines, classic Mark Twain, smutty romance novels, personal finance books, books on femininity and sexuality, biographies, sci-fi books, etc.

Sometimes your inspiration will come from your least favorite things. Most inventions are the result of someone having an experience or  feeling that they didn’t like. They were then inspired to change it or make better. Or take fear for example.  Its one thing to overcome a fear. However, you can also understand a fear more by becoming inspired by it. If you fear bugs, go on a bug collecting excursion with a bug expert. I hate and have an irrational discomfort in being around pigeons. Maybe one day I’ll visit a pigeon coupe to learn more about them and get over it. Key emphasis on “one day” but overcoming that fear could teach me something!

3. Release Your Expectations

Don’t try to tell inspiration how and when it can or should come to you. That bird pooping on you, while running late to work, in the rain could be a spark for something. The key is to be open for ANYTHING to inspire you. It can come from an excursion, someone you don’t like (!) or something that happens during your everyday life. There are no rules. Maybe you begrudgingly went to the football game with your boyfriend to support one of his interests and you got ideas for your next photography project. Be open to pulling/finding inspiration from and in ANYTHING. When we place expectations and limitations on how we can receive it, we can lose out on the opportunity to experience any at all.

Inspiration is a roller coaster ride. Sometimes you’re at the peak, high on tons of it and other times you’re in the bottom of the valley scraping for it. This is normal. The main thing to take away from all of this is that it’s a deliberate and daily exercise. Don’t try to force it, just be open to receive it however it will come to you. Eventually, maybe looking at the cloud patterns in the sky for just five minutes of your morning commute to work will spark an idea that solves a problem you’ve been stumped on for weeks, a winning book title or dress design that sells out in minutes.

Have you ever been inspired in an unconventional manner? Share your experience below.

Milan is a bohemian, new age, Scorpion lady with sophistication and funk. She has a passion for life and adventure and is a glutton for books and all things creative. You can find her at any of your local cultural events, in the park practicing yoga, in the kitchen jamming to A Tribe Called Quest songs while cooking dinner or her blog talking about life and beauty.